Where are you from 1.0?

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Originally written on the 1st of October 2016.

To many, this question is quite trivial, yet there are several people, like me, that continuously struggle to answer this question. Only a hand full of people will be familiar with the dilemma, never quite having lived in one place long enough to call it a home, or not having lived in your "home country" long enough to be able to call it home. On the other hand, the situation so straightforward, most would answer the question without hesitation.

The term "third culture kid" plays a crucial part in this situation. In Wikipedia they are defined as "children who were raised in a culture outside of their parents culture for a significant part of their development years", which, to me, is an accurate enough description. For me this is an ordinary term, however, several people will be unfamiliar with the term. For those unfamiliar with the term, let me elaborate on it by explaining my situation.

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My mother is from Breda, a lively city in Brabant (a province), whereas my father is from a town, Kloosterzande, that lies in the countryside and most Dutch people have never heard of or ever will. About 20 years ago they moved from their smug neighbourhood in the Netherlands to the thriving city, Shanghai, and they haven't left since. 19 years ago, they adopted me, followed by my two younger sisters. The three of us grew up in Shanghai, raised by our two fully Dutch parents (a fact most people still find difficult to grasp, to say it plainly, yes they are white).

Luckily enough, my father was continuously employed by foreign (non-local) companies in China; meaning we had the advantage of living typical expat lives. We were sent to international schools, had a driver, lived in a compound (house in a guarded living complex) and paid tickets to visit "home" (the Netherlands) each year. In my opinion, being labelled "third culture kid" originates mainly from going to an international school and the diverse cultural environment that surrounds it. The majority of the children that attend these schools have spent the greater portion of their lives in a country that isn't their actually nationality. Some end up living in the same country almost their entire childhoods (like me), some end up constantly moving from place to place and others move around a few times and end up settling somewhere in their late teens. These, I would say, are the people that when asked where they're from, just don't really have a solid answer.

"Everywhere and nowhere I guess."

To abbreviate my point, don't underestimate the question, the hesitation or the answer. The point I'm trying to make doesn't even exclusively apply to third culture kids, there are enough people that have moved within their own country (the Netherlands included, and everyone knows its tiny) and can't even give one concrete answer. A common saying, "home is where the heart is", is oversimplifying the question, because honestly, after 18 years I  still don't have a fixed answer.

In case you're wondering what my answer to the question is, when being asked, it changes from place to place and depends on who's asking. Even though I have lived in Shanghai for 18 years, when asked where I'm from I can never simply say "China". Firstly, most people don't believe me because either I'm speaking fluent English, fluent Dutch or heavily accented Mandarin. Secondly, local Chinese people don't like being tan and thirdly, I poke my food with chopsticks and eat whatever stays on. Nonetheless, "the Netherlands" as an answer doesn't work either, I may have been raised by Dutch parents, but I have never lived here up until a year ago and biologically, I'm 100% Chinese (or Asian or something, I'm not actually quite sure).